Every Christian in Rightville liked Christmas a lot...
But the Liberals, who lived left of Rightville, did NOT!
They wanted to swap it for "holiday season"!
And Rightvillers knew that they knew the true reason:
It wasn't about a desire to be broad;
It wasn't to make it so none were ignored;
Those Liberals were out to destroy their religion
Beginning by banning their bestest tradition!
What next? It was surely a slippery slope
From “Warm Season’s Greetings!” to loss of all hope.
There’d be boys dressed in pink! Girls playing with trucks!
And both made to study that “theory” of Chuck’s;
While restrooms would sink into free-for-all madness,
And teens would know how to use condoms for badness,
And most of each hard-work-earned dollar would go
Towards helping the lazy die slightly more slow.
Now the Trump, in his tower, gazed out on the land
Thinking, “How can I make myself EVEN MORE grand?”
So he looked down on Rightville, and saw their distress
With the Liberals who’d put them in “such a fine mess”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE TRUMP GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Trump laughed in his throat,
“Pretty soon they’ll be queuing to give me their vote!”
And he called everybody who owed him a favour,
Announcing “I’m going to be Christmas’s saviour!”
He slunk, with a smile that he tried to make pleasant,
Around every state, plying everyone present
With promises perfectly picked to appeal
To each prejudice, project or personal zeal.
His buddies, meanwhile, told some terrible tales
About "Liberal evils", and "Liberal fails".
He didn’t much mind what was said, or was done --
There was little he DID mind as long as he won.
In Rightville the Trump was the talk of the town;
“He HAS been quite naughty” some said, with a frown.
“But I heard that he claims that he’s sorry and sad,
And he’s bringing back Christmas -- he can’t be ALL bad!”
Then they thought of those Liberals, and said with one voice:
“It isn’t as though we’ve got much of a choice…”
The Trump listened on with a satisfied grin:
He would win! He would win! He would WIN WIN WIN WIN!
Sure enough, when the day for deciding things came,
As they counted the ticks to each candidate's name,
The Liberals sat hopefully watching the screen:
“We KNOW it won’t go to somebody so mean!”
But it did! The Trump did it! He trumped all the rest.
The people had spoken -- and he was the best!
The Trump and his buddies were brimming with glee;
The wider world took it more tremblingly...
As the Christians in Rightville considered their lot,
Some started to question just what HAD they got?
“But at least”, they agreed, “there is one cause for cheer:
We will ALL have to say MERRY CHRISTMAS next year!”
Carolyn Whitnall, 2016.
But the Liberals, who lived left of Rightville, did NOT!
They wanted to swap it for "holiday season"!
And Rightvillers knew that they knew the true reason:
It wasn't about a desire to be broad;
It wasn't to make it so none were ignored;
Those Liberals were out to destroy their religion
Beginning by banning their bestest tradition!
What next? It was surely a slippery slope
From “Warm Season’s Greetings!” to loss of all hope.
There’d be boys dressed in pink! Girls playing with trucks!
And both made to study that “theory” of Chuck’s;
While restrooms would sink into free-for-all madness,
And teens would know how to use condoms for badness,
And most of each hard-work-earned dollar would go
Towards helping the lazy die slightly more slow.
Now the Trump, in his tower, gazed out on the land
Thinking, “How can I make myself EVEN MORE grand?”
So he looked down on Rightville, and saw their distress
With the Liberals who’d put them in “such a fine mess”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE TRUMP GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Trump laughed in his throat,
“Pretty soon they’ll be queuing to give me their vote!”
And he called everybody who owed him a favour,
Announcing “I’m going to be Christmas’s saviour!”
He slunk, with a smile that he tried to make pleasant,
Around every state, plying everyone present
With promises perfectly picked to appeal
To each prejudice, project or personal zeal.
His buddies, meanwhile, told some terrible tales
About "Liberal evils", and "Liberal fails".
He didn’t much mind what was said, or was done --
There was little he DID mind as long as he won.
In Rightville the Trump was the talk of the town;
“He HAS been quite naughty” some said, with a frown.
“But I heard that he claims that he’s sorry and sad,
And he’s bringing back Christmas -- he can’t be ALL bad!”
Then they thought of those Liberals, and said with one voice:
“It isn’t as though we’ve got much of a choice…”
The Trump listened on with a satisfied grin:
He would win! He would win! He would WIN WIN WIN WIN!
Sure enough, when the day for deciding things came,
As they counted the ticks to each candidate's name,
The Liberals sat hopefully watching the screen:
“We KNOW it won’t go to somebody so mean!”
But it did! The Trump did it! He trumped all the rest.
The people had spoken -- and he was the best!
The Trump and his buddies were brimming with glee;
The wider world took it more tremblingly...
As the Christians in Rightville considered their lot,
Some started to question just what HAD they got?
“But at least”, they agreed, “there is one cause for cheer:
We will ALL have to say MERRY CHRISTMAS next year!”
Carolyn Whitnall, 2016.
"[God] has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate; he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty." -- from Mary's first Merry Christmas song. (See Luke 1:51-53)
[Thumbnail cc from m01229 on Flickr].
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