Critic Cal

I was ten when O.J. Simpson's former wife Nicole and her friend Ron were found stabbed to death outside her LA home. It was the talk of the playground, handled with all the sensitivity and nuance that ten year olds typically bring to matters of mortality and justice. He definitely did it; he definitely didn't do it; he's best mates with my brother and he'll do it to you too if you don't give me your Kit Kat; say his name five times in a mirror and he'll come after you in your dreams in the guise of a chubby-cheeked children's toy carrying a machete... [1] I knew nothing about sport. As far as I was concerned, O.J. was just some guy on a baseball card. And I knew still less about race. Racism was black kids and white kids not wanting to play together, just like sexism was girls and boys refusing to sit next to each other. So the case made little coherent impact on me at the time. And even though I hope I've started to get the hang of a few things in r...

There's this Rowan Atkinson sketch where he does a comically solemn vicar character delivering a sermon about "The Amazing Jesus" -- And on the third day, there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee. And it came to pass that all the wine was drunk. And the mother of the bride came to Jesus and said unto the Lord, they have no more wine. And Jesus said unto the servants: "Fill six waterpots with water." And they did so. And when the steward of the feast did taste from the water of the pots, it had become wine. And they knew not whence it had come. But the servants did know, so they applauded loudly in the kitchen. And they said unto the Lord: "How the hell did you do that?" And inquired of him: "Do you do children's parties" And the Lord said: "No." But the servants did press him, saying; "Go on, give us another one!" [...] And they brought him on a stretcher a man who was sick of the palsy. And they cried unto him:...

I have decided to be a poet. My father said that there isn't a suitable career structure for poets and no pensions and other boring things, but I am quite decided. He tried to interest me in becoming a computer operator, but I said 'I need to put my soul into my work and it is well known that computers haven't got a soul.' My father said, 'The Americans are working on it.' But I can't wait that long. (Sue Townsend, The Sacred Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4 , p102) Well said, Adrian! Stand your ground! If only I'd stuck to my poetic guns at your age ... just think of the volumes of villanelles, the stacks of sestinas, the plenitude of pantoums ... not to mention the veritable  library  of limericks I could've penned by now. Instead, here I am, operating computers day in, day out, with barely a weekday evening free to scrape together a few lines of light verse here and there. I've got some serious catching up to do ... Got gaps in my readin...

Mr. W's had me watching the oh-so-disturbingly funny ' Inside No. 9 ', a series of disconnected black comedy shorts made by the men what done ' The League of Gentlemen '. It's all mindgames and murders, domestic intruders and sinister secrets and aargh. Tends to be that I enjoy it in the moment and regret it in the middle of the nightmare-riddled night... So the other evening, I opted for the tried-and-tested ' Cabin Pressure ' remedy, and drifted off to the dulcet, charmingly hi-lariously crafted tones of Douglas, Martin, Carolyn and Arthur. Indeed, my sleep was much the sweeter for this I'm-too-old-for-a-bedtime-story-but-radio-4-does-pretty-much-the-same-job stratagem. Except, part way through I was distracted by an onset of thoughtfulness, prompted by the following interlocution between the sharp-tongued Carolyn and her cheerfully be-leagured new-found love interest, Herc: Carolyn: Oh, don't tell me you're a vegetarian.  Herc: ...

Somewhere in the growing pile of books threatening to bury my bedside cabinet is one which, when the cares of life o'erwhelm me, I know I can turn to, open at random, stab blindly at the page with my finger and find a word to minister to my need. It is 'The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book'. "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels." "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again." "Rome wasn't built in a day. That's Milton Keynes you're thinking of." "So I was taking the M4 out of London, and this bloke said, put it back." "The trouble with an all day breakfast is you've got to eat it so slowly." "This bloke left a huge lump of plasticine in my dressing room. I don't know what to make of it." We all know the old story about the man who tries similar with his Bible. Hoping for guidance, he opens at random and al...

Frothy it may be but I have a soft spot for New Girl …the new Zooey Deschanel vehicle which is basically just an unashamed excuse for her to kooky-it-to-the-max [1]. I like it because it is gentle; the characters are nice to one another; people are allowed to be different…at least up to a point. But somehow, in its deliberate quirkiness, the unchallenged social norms of the 'situation' become all the more striking. Most sitcoms seem to draw from the same pool of 'skeleton' episodes, by turns fished out and furnished with appropriate situation-specific embellishments. Episode 8 was 'the one where two people reach the point in their relationship where they're supposed to have sex but it all gets rather awkward'. Zooey's character had been seeing a fellow teacher for a couple of weeks and they decide it's time to 'get serious' in the bedroom department. They both feel vulnerable and nervous; they are not yet at a point in their relationship wh...

Watched ' The Life of Brian ' for the first time a few months ago. It was hanging around on iPlayer, and I thought I'd find out what all the fuss was about. Seems to be a 'marmite issue' for Christians: for some, a reason to get extremely heated, angry and offended, for others, the opportunity to show just how 'with it' and cool we can be by *gasp* actually liking it. The 'Brian' of the title is born on the same night as Jesus in a stable a few doors down, where he is accidentally visited by the 'three wise men'. Thereon in his whole life is a constant sequence of coincidence and mistaken identity as he unwittingly draws a devoted following of messiah-seekers who convince themselves that he is 'the one'. The film is very deliberate in establishing that Brian is not Jesus, who is himself represented (at a distance) in an apparently rather genuine and respectful way. Whether that was to attempt to placate the inevitable 'Chris...

"Truly, you are a God who hides himself." said Isaiah (45:15) Why?! If there is a God, why does He not make Himself more obvious? Think how much simpler it would all be if there was a yes/no answer that was universally evident. Dallas Willard posits that the hiddenness of God allows people to define themselves: And why would God hide himself? Because God loves us, he wants to be known to us. That is the way of love. But because we, in our rebellion against him, are hardened in our insistence on having our own "kingdom," he must hide from us to allow us to hide from him and to pretend we, individually and corporately, are in charge of our life. He is such a great and magnificent being that, if he did not hide from us, we could not hide from him. He allows us the pretense of being our own god because that is what we want, what we choose. Pushed to the limit, this choice results in the terrible evils of which we have proven capable. (From ' The Craftine...

Mr. W had ' No Surprises ' on at full volume in the car when he came to pick me up from work the other day. So we didn't talk to each other for a full 3 and a half minutes…letting the song have its moment, waiting in shared appreciation until it felt ok to speak… Course, I'd forgotten what came next, and ' Lucky ' is hardly background music for chit-chat either. All in all Radiohead pretty much stymied any chance of conversation till we got home. In a previous post I confessed to having actively destroyed a few particularly 'dangerous' CDs in a moment of ascetic fervour.* Indeed, my cherished Radiohead collection was first in line for the cull. I tease myself, but it was a smart move, at the time. Music is powerful: the better the music, the more dangerous. And Radiohead are pretty epic. All that raw, bleak, despair - unchecked by any rational basis for hope - Thom Yorke's fragile wail over layers of tense, resounding instrumentals...and the gui...

The Queen's latest Christmas speech was interesting: Oops, not that one*. This one . She was pretty unreserved in her expression of personal faith in Jesus and confidence in the grace and power of God - and in her desire for others to experience the same. To quote: God sent into the world a unique person - neither a philosopher nor a general, important though they are, but a Saviour, with the power to forgive. Forgiveness lies at the heart of the Christian faith. It can heal broken families, it can restore friendships and it can reconcile divided communities. It is in forgiveness that we feel the power of God's love. In the last verse of this beautiful carol, O Little Town Of Bethlehem, there's a prayer: O Holy Child of Bethlehem, Descend to us we pray. Cast out our sin And enter in. Be born in us today. It is my prayer that on this Christmas day we might all find room in our lives for the message of the angels and for the love of God through Christ our...