’Twas two months before Christmas, and all through the land Not an outlet was stalling, not one minor brand; The gewgaws were hung in each window display In hopes to snare customers passing that way. With bauble and sequin the aisles were well-decked (The checkouts en-tinseled to crown the effect), While seasonal produce inveigled itself Onto every clothing rail, counter, and shelf. Sainsbury’s tailored their meal-deal selection Around turkey, and orangey-chocolate confection; All washed down with coke (though the marketers’ wisdom Says leave half a bottle for Donner or Blitzen). From snowflakey jumpers and star-studded socks, To novelty neckties and sparkly frocks; Whether Primark or Prada, the message was clear: To celebrate Christmas, you need the right gear. Pubs began mulling all manner of booze, Party menus appeared on the doors in the loos, And many a Friday night reveller, with valour, Adventured a Baileys on top of a Stella. T